“He is the best man who when making his plans, fears and reflects on everything that can happen to him, but in the moment of action is bold” – Herodotus
Being chosen to be the best man in a wedding is a big responsibility for any man. It is an honor that one of your friends or relatives cares about you enough to want you to occupy this important role in his wedding. Being the best man requires a lot of planning ahead and being ready for any situation that may arise on the big day. Here are some tips to be the best Best Man ever.
1.) Plan a bachelor party that you know he’ll enjoy. Movies and television shows make it seem like you have to go to Vegas to have a fun bachelor party. However, while the typical Vegas bachelor party might be a popular choice, it is not the right choice for every groom. Consider how the groom likes to spend his free time. Is he an avid golfer? Does he go to a lot of concerts? Would he love to have a “guy’s night” at home with his best buddies where he can de-stress and have fun without his fiancée? If you’re not sure how to answer any of these questions ask the groom. Although you want the details of this night to be a surprise, ask him what his idea of a perfect night is or spend more time with him to find out what he is interested in. Remember that this party is meant for the groom to enjoy even if his idea of the perfect night isn’t exactly the same as yours.
2.) Be there for support. Chances are the groom is feeling almost as much stress about his upcoming nuptials as the bride is. Take the time to find out what part of the wedding the groom is most stressed about. Figure out how you can help him deal with that issue and keep him calm during his engagement. Accompany the groom to any meetings or fittings that he is going to without the bride, and ask him what you can do to make his life a little bit less hectic.
3.) Keep an open line of communication with the bride. Remember that there are two people who are getting married and have two separate sets of responsibilities. You know what’s going on with the groom and how his wedding preparations have been going, but what is the bride doing? Is she stressed about a particular issue that you can help with? Find out if she is unhappy with anything that the groom is doing (or not doing) and talk to him about it. As his best man it is your responsibility to be there for the bride too. She is the most important woman in your guy’s life and you should show her that you appreciate being in this wedding and support their relationship. Even if you aren’t the biggest fan of the bride, try to make her happy for the groom’s sake.
4.) Take this responsibility seriously, but remember to have fun also. The best man has a lot of responsibilities before, during, and after the wedding. You must help the groom prepare for every aspect of the wedding and act as a host during the reception. You are responsible for making sure that the groom and all guests are being tended to and finalizing all plans for the honeymoon and even after. Before the wedding, make sure all other groomsmen have their tuxes ready and know their roles at the wedding. Also, be sure to check that the rings are all set and ready for the ceremony, and that all of the groom’s tasks are completed. During the months leading up to the wedding make sure to spend some quality “guy time” with the groom and do all of the things you usually do for fun. This will help the groom to take his mind out of wedding mode for a while and will reduce his stress. Go to the gym, play video games, have a movie night, go out for beers, or go fishing or boating if it’s summer.
5.) Plan your rehearsal dinner toast months in advance. The rehearsal dinner toast is a very important part of the pre-wedding festivities. Enough movies have mocked the rude, drunk, best friend’s ridiculous and often crude toast to know that your groom and his bride expect more of you. The best man’s speech is particularly anticipated amongst other speeches because it is made by the man who knows the groom the best. It is entertaining and emotional the bride to hear anecdotes and praises of her soon to be husband. If you don’t know what to write, try listing out all of the groom’s best qualities and relate them to favorite memories of times you have spent with him. Let him know how much you respect him and that you are thankful that he chose you to be a part of his wedding. Let everyone at the rehearsal dinner know why you are proud to be a part of the groom’s life and when you first realized that he was about to become engaged. Your toast should be lighthearted, fun, and entertaining but also sentimental and loving at the same time.
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Posted by Emilie Class